Saturday, 27 October 2012

Something for the Weekend - Hmm, you look familiar...

Halloween. I think we can all agree that the Americans do it better than us. It's kind of cute when the neighbours' 4 year old comes round as a mini skeleton and lisps 'trick or treat' at you at 5pm. It's less fun when you're attempting to watch Eastenders and have opened the door to the 14th hulking teen in a Scream mask menacing you for fun size Cadburys. You could go to a party, but options are limited - what will it be this year - slutty witch, slutty vampire or slutty cat? [The same low-cut flammable polyester bustier can be pressed into service for all three]. Our pals across the pond meanwhile are rocking 'Octomom', 'dismembered torso in a suitcase', and erm, 'ball pool'.

Pete Burns wasn't sure his job as Angelina's nanny was working out


Jeez, why's it always the ketchup that leaks?


It never pays to rummage much below the top layer. There'll be an apple core and a dirty nappy in there somewhere. Mark my words.


But who is Halloween really all about? Have we forgotten the true meaning of Samhain? Without the sterling efforts of our feline friends it's highly possible that many women burned as witches might have lived full boring lives as local herbalists. Imagine how dull things might have been without the caprice of our canine companions leading early villagers to believe in the presence of demons. It's only right that we repay them for these services, don't you think? And what better way than allowing them their own little slice of Halloween magic? See how happy they look:


Avada Kedavra. 
Seriously motherfucker. We are THROUGH

Ginger and Tiddles had been listening to backwards records again.

You know things are bad when a beagle's eyes seem to be saying 'Please, take me back to the research lab. I miss the toasted taste of Lucky Strike'.

Go Team

Sweet Lolita kitteh says kawaii. Whatever.

I'm confused Mommy. Who's Cerberus? 


Try this again and you lose a finger.

If you've always wished for a different, more exotic pet - Halloween is the perfect time to put your wishes into action. No need to trawl Craigs list or purchase an unreliable transformation spell from eBay - simply strap on the prosthetic bunny ears and away you go:


Imma get Jurassic on yo' ass

Hey, weren't you in Willow?


Just kill me. 


Skunk dog thinks you stink


What's up dawg?


Spiderpug. Combining cute and horrific since 1998

Mutant spider dog would probably be enough to keep me off your lawn, but if you're really anti trick or treaters you could bring out the big guns:







I know, I know, it's wrong to paint pets or give them extra limbs. But occasionally an outfit is so perfect we should just chuck animal rights out of the window entirely. If I were in charge of such matters this guy would be forced to dress as Winnie the Pooh every day, and I usually HATE the Disney version:

You're with me on this, right?


Peta are just going to have to find a new spokesperson, cos it's going to take a hero to stop this kind of exploitation:


Happy Halloween!

Lakota x

Hi new followers! I'm guessing you came for the swap or the Nails inc giveaway. I can't blame you. If you stick around you might enjoy the rest. I mostly like second hand shizzle and poking fun at things I find on the internet. eBay sellers don't like me very much and if you pin something ridiculous to Pinterest I will say so. I once wanted to marry Tom Cruise, but I'm over that now. Oh, and it's my birthday today. 

49 comments:

  1. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVELY LAKOTA!!
    i love this post - i love the dogs dressed up (oops). i am pretty much obsessed with halloween at the moment - partly because i love it anyways,but partly because we have halloween nights and activiites in work. it is really difficult to find a non slutty halloween outfit... (unless you make one yourself) so i've gone for 'little dead riding hood' which was the least slutty thing i could find and yet still has a corset....

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  2. Happy Birthday, my wonderful.
    No a big deal halloween in Spain, so we are fine, hehehehehhe.
    Have a grand weekend
    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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  3. Happy happy Birthday Lakota! Seriously laughed out loud at this post-poor creatures!!!!

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  4. Too funny! All of it! Hope you have an ace birthday x

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  5. Happy happy birthday, Lakota! Hope you are having a day full of treats and gorgeousness!
    Hallowe'en kind of passes me by, unless we get invited to a party and then I am forced to dress the kids up, and myself of course. Slutty all the way for me!
    Clothes on animals - wrong, plain wrong. If I tried it on my cats, they would leave home. Having said that, Cerberus is a little bit inspired... But mutant spider/pug, tiger and lion are most disturbing! xxxxx


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  6. Happy Birthday!
    This makes Hallowe'en so worth it :)
    ♥nic

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  7. Happy Birthday!
    Thanks for the chuckles.
    I don't know how people get their pets dressed up. My dog would have any outfit off and in tatters within seconds. xx

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  8. Oh, Lakota, I love your blog. It makes me very nearly pee myself laughing!!!
    I'd totally missed the Nails Inc so I'll double back for that.
    And humungous happy birthday wishes. Have a fabulous day! (weekend?)
    Z xx
    PS Nothing, but nothing beats your 'burlap' post!

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  9. Funniest thing I've seen all week, my hubby had to come see why my son and I were laughing so much.

    Thank you for sharing, our personal favourites are the Ewoks and the crocodile.

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  10. Happy Birthday!
    Thanks for the giggles and groans!

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  11. Happy Birthday!
    Thanks for the giggles and groans!

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  12. Ya say its your birthday? Happy birthday to ya! Such a funny Halloween post. I have been guilty of dressing Peetee (my dog) up one year like the lil dog dressed as the reindeer from How the Grinch Stole Christmas. He was a dead ringer, pathetic look and all.

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  13. Happy Birthday! Hope you're having a wonderful day :)

    That dog-eaten-by-crocodile costume is inspired!

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  14. God...I think I might have wet myself laughing! This is the funniest thing I've read in ages. If I tried to cram my cat in to a costume, I'd lose and eye at least.
    Happy birthday too, you wondrous creature.xxxx

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  15. Happy Birthday!

    I reckon one of my cats is amenable to costumes - am going to work on her for Hallowe'en next year :)

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  16. Happy birthday to you etc.
    And Happy Halloween - hope you're going to dress up and post a pic! Those pets need a rest.
    Love from Mum
    xx

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  17. Have a lovely birthday! Those animal pics are a wee bit unsettling actually. Here in Lanzarote they do like to celebrate Hallowe'en - any excuse to dress up :)

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  18. Happy Birthday!! :)
    Oh my, those are some Halloween outfits. Have a spooky Halloween...x
    Magie

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  19. This made my day! Makes me want to go get a lion costume for my bossy but scaredy-cat beagle!

    xoxo
    Lynn

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  20. You have made my day...or rather YOUR day! Happy Birthday!

    You should add this to the A Fanciful Twist Halloween party hop. Those ladies could use some lightening up!

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  21. Happy Birthday!! I hope you have a fabulous day. Thank you so much for this post - when the thumbnail came up of that octomom post I was a little lost, then I realised what it was and nearly cried laughing. Also - nothing makes me smile more than a picture of a REALLY p*ssed off cat. So this totally made my day. Also the wee dogs as ewoks are pretty darn cute!

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  22. OK you got me to comment finally instead of lurking in the hinterland... great post, have almost pissed myself laughing at most of these photos and your captions are spot on.... oh and Happy Burfday xx

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  23. Happy birthday for yesterday Lakota, I hope you celebrated well and the men in your life made a fuss of you!
    As for dressing-up pets, some people have way too much time on their hands!!!
    x

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  24. Happy birthday darling!! I don't know what I'd do without your twisted banter in my life. I would probably start knitting toilet roll covers and sell them on eBay, that's what! Loveyawaymorethanballpool. xoxoxo

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  25. I hate outfits for pets but I will accept they do make for amusing photos.

    Hope you had an awesome birthday.

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  26. Happy birthday Lakota! Hope it is lovely!
    Thank you for the giggles! Those costumes are quite simply hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Especially the Alligator one! Poor dog!

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  27. Happy Birthday to you!!! Hope it's been a blast.
    Those animals look seriously pissed off. Our cats would have my hand off if I attempted something so mean on either of them. Maybe the tortoise would be more game seeing as he's in almost-hibernation mode! x

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  28. Happy birthday lovely hope you had a great day. Do you know what i didn't know why we celebrated halloween shows how ignorant i am. But i agree across the pond there costumes are amazing. I enjoyed all your animal photo's that black cat one did make me chuckle. dee x

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  29. Sorry it's late, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

    I had to email those wookie dogs to my mum because she has a dog that looks just like them. He makes wookie noises too. I'm all for dressing dogs up, I don't think it should be just for halloween either. X

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  30. Are you still celebrating? HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! (I celebrate mine for 12 days, just like Christmas).

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  31. this made me laugh heartily. If dogs are capable of having a sense of humour I think some of them would agree these costumes are fabulous.

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  32. Great post. Never been to a halloween party myself but know someone who is going as Jimmy Savile this year! Loved the animal pics but don't think my cat would tolerate it. Happy Birthday.

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  33. Happy Birthday! Yes I know I'm late to the party, as usual! I'm going to end every sentence with an exclamation! '

    LOVE the croc eating dog costume and the little Pooh puppy is cute beyond belief. I'm going to dress as a Fabulous Slutty Vintage Loving Chick... do you think I can get away with it???

    Sarah! xxx!

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  34. Happy birthday to you, Lakota and thanks for sharing the ridiculous Halloween pics!

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  35. Happy birthday!!!!(sorry for the late)This post is beyond awsomeness!!I always feel so sorry for dressed up pets, but these are so cute and weird! I love the cat with the Lolita wig and the Cerberus!The human selection is far more disturbing!
    Have a wonderful week!
    xxxxx

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  36. Happy belated birthday honey. I soooooooo need to get me a pet so I can dress the poor fucker up. That comment about Pete Burns cracked me up. Don't go changing! x

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  37. Happy Birthday!!! Hope you have/had a great day =) <3

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  38. Happy Birthday! You're a Halloween baby (ah close enough!) I loved that you wrote about Samhain, I wrote about some Celtic Samhain traditions last year and this year. And those animals, what a hoot! My poor little Westie hates when I dress her as a vampire or witch, so instead I make her into a tough dog with skull bandanna, collar and lead (she's an alpha and makes pit bulls cower, so it suits!) I hope we get to have Halloween this year, the kids (and me, its our anniversary, plus we go all out do the house up and dress scary) will be very disappointed if Frankenstorm Sandy touches down in NY! I'm trying to weather witch the bitch out to sea. Join me now: "Sandy, Sandy, we want candy, out to sea you Frankencreep!" XXX

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  39. Oops forgot to post this for the first part of your post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4rUiV_Hh74
    Hahaha! XXX

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  40. Sorry for the belated Happy Birthday, hope you had a great time. Ha!!! octo-mum is pretty funny, even funnier was your pete burns comment xxx

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  41. Too late for a proper Happy Birthday, but I do hope you enjoyed it. Did you make yourself a cake? A big bottle of nail varnish cake, that's what I imagine.
    Where do you find these photographs? You should be making big bucks for this stuff, its so funny. Hope you have a fun time tomorrow, I'm kinda hoping you've got a crazy pumpkin carving lined up?

    Lucy x

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  42. Happy Belated Birthday!

    This is the first year that I didn't dress up for Halloween. I've never been anything creative though. My best was probably Marilyn Monroe. I sewed the dress myself and that was probably the only reason I think it was such an impressive costume. I don't think my dogs would let me dress them up. Ringo would probably destroy anything that was put on him.

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  43. Happy birthday Lakota!!
    I am ROLLING at the pet costumes!! I wouldn't DARE dress Kae up as anything but the majesty she is.

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  44. Happy belated birthday!

    Those Ewok dogs are amazing. I don't have any pets so I'll just have to dress up the baby in ridiculous outfits until he's old enough to protest.

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  45. That is the best dog costume ever with the alligator - amazing.

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  46. Happy Belated Birthday Lakota! I gotta say this post is just so hillarious and i cant seem to stop laughing looking at those cute pets with their ridiculous halloween outfits hahaha...must be paining that dog to walk with alligator on his back hehe..the winnie the pooh is just so adorable but the pink lolita kitteh is so wrong..so wrong hahahahaha

    hope you had a great birthday and cheers to you!!

    x susan

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  47. Their so cute I love the pooh dog sleeping mmmmmm soooo... cute I love it..The dog eaten by a a crocodile sad:(

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